If ever there was a day I needed to have my grandkids here it was today.
Im thankful they were able to come stay.
Im afraid my g'daughter is too bored, but yet she seems to have a good time....
I try to engage her into conversation but she doesnt seem interested in anything I want to talk to her about and when I ask her questions she rarely has an answer, nor aability to talk to me about it. She is 9, and has been sheltered her entire life
I was the same way, and I rebeled and paid the price for it. I dont want to see her end up the same way, her mom didnt want to listen to me, why would a granddaughter want to either. Her mom did turn out good but she had to follow the route I took and have her consequences hit her in the face. I have had them hit me in the face many times. However, I do not know what I did to deserve most of the times I have been hit. I would gladly admit, and ask for forgiveness If someone would come forth and convict me of my sins, so I could move on. There are plenty of mistakes I have made which were of my own doing but there were so many others that I do not believe were mine. such as the death of 4 lovely people who were taken out of our lives when we probably needed them the most....wiped out in a second....
wiping out more than their lives but our whole family, by a semi, taking them out and damaging many others. If I could just understand why.....Its not for us to know at this time, but some how someday, I hope to understand why it all had to happen.
Most of the persons I have loved in my life have died, and it makes me sad, to know that the one who has had some of the most influence in my life died Thursday. I have to face the fact that I didnt go visit her in the nursing home because of my own pain of seeing her there, and loosing so many others before her I just couldnt deal with going and seeing her slipping away ......Pauline.....please forgive me.....
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Time moves faster
I cannot believe it has been so long since I posted on my blog, it used to be my daily diary of such. Maybe since there is no feedback, no body checking in with me, that I lost interest of writing but nonetheless im back. I had some trouble logging in guess it has been a long while since I have been here!
After 10 years of divorce, and now, Two NewYears days have gone by since my ex moved back in, needing a place to live since he basically screwed up his life so well, he has no place else to stay. He was here things went great till June the first year, then it all fell apart in one simple sentence. Have you ever said something that you wish you could take back......I did, and it was over, the bliss we had lived with for 5 months, it was over in one quick swift moment.
Two years have passed, he has come and gone many times in those two years, but, he keeps coming back, and I keep taking him back. What is it all about, I dont have a clue, but I do know we are getting along well, knowing we care for each other, and both need each other.
Situations have come up that neither of us could control, and life seemed to just bulldoze its way to bring us back together pushing and pulling until the wave of surrender came from with in. Ok now, Lord we are back together but for what purpose?
Our interests are so different, we seem to have nothing in common, and knowing each other as well as we do, there doesnt seem to be a lot to talk about. What is the purpose for relationships, other than to have a soft place to fall when we are in need?
Life goes on at a pace somedays I cant keep up with, other days, slower than mollasses and try swimming thru that for a change!
till the next post, who knows what will bring me back, but, i do wish there was another out there to connect with, isnt that what the soul searches for continually?
After 10 years of divorce, and now, Two NewYears days have gone by since my ex moved back in, needing a place to live since he basically screwed up his life so well, he has no place else to stay. He was here things went great till June the first year, then it all fell apart in one simple sentence. Have you ever said something that you wish you could take back......I did, and it was over, the bliss we had lived with for 5 months, it was over in one quick swift moment.
Two years have passed, he has come and gone many times in those two years, but, he keeps coming back, and I keep taking him back. What is it all about, I dont have a clue, but I do know we are getting along well, knowing we care for each other, and both need each other.
Situations have come up that neither of us could control, and life seemed to just bulldoze its way to bring us back together pushing and pulling until the wave of surrender came from with in. Ok now, Lord we are back together but for what purpose?
Our interests are so different, we seem to have nothing in common, and knowing each other as well as we do, there doesnt seem to be a lot to talk about. What is the purpose for relationships, other than to have a soft place to fall when we are in need?
Life goes on at a pace somedays I cant keep up with, other days, slower than mollasses and try swimming thru that for a change!
till the next post, who knows what will bring me back, but, i do wish there was another out there to connect with, isnt that what the soul searches for continually?
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