Lost Viewers

For all of you "lost" viewers, here is a great blog with discussion
I have been lost for so long
kind of like being out in the wilderness
trying to fit in all my life
and never quite being there.

I was raised by two people who loved me very much
but, they loved me too much to alow me to learn
the lessons of life I needed to survive.

Life for a spoiled brat is hell on earth

Dont be afraid to give some discipline
with true meaning.

A child who never hears no, with meaning, always plays to find the yes....

Lord Forgive me for being so stuborn.
Hell hath no fury like a fucked up mother....

Lost, why is it I have felt so lost, so left out, so alone, and so unaccepted all of my life, when I actually had parents who loved me, and only wanted the best for me.
Why has my life been so screwed up, and messed up, wandering around in the darkness
feeling like a child in the skin of Helen Keller, who, was one of my few Idols as a child. And look how her blindess gave her sight.
To help the blind see

Being adopted is a gift from God, to a woman who cries at night feeling so empty because her loving arms have nothing to hold, and little to give.

Children who are concieved of lust, uncontrolled sex, out of wedlock, bastard child,
son of a bitch name given, how many names have been called.
How much crying can one child do.....

Going down the road of trying to be that perfect child, the one that was an answer to prayer......giving the best, giving the prayers, giving the thanks,
dedicating the child,
guided to church,
given a choice....
taken away
to a place so not understood
a place full of ritual
words not understood
sometime some where
steps were taken
down a path unknown

Married at 17 to get out of the home, away from all the "love"
no memories are there
other than friends who were desired to have that life
away from the HOME

Everything was given
every desire to please
everything was earned
with goodbehavior and good grades

promises of having that
material gain