Its a sad and happy day,
it was a closing of an erra which has been so very painful,
of loosing most everything I have ever owned, in businesses which have failed.
The sadness of it started with being told I shouldnt comment on my daughters boyfriends page, that it was creepy and I was like a stalker and weird.
This, coming 5 months after my granddaughter who is 10 crushed my heart after I sent her a text saying "Happy Thanksgiving, I miss you and hope your having a good Thanksgiving" her mom and dad had recently divorced and this was her first holiday without her mom, she had plenty of holidays without me.
I had written to her just to let her know I missed her and was thinking of her.
She wrote back, "Nana please dont text me, im spending time with my Aunt Robin, I dont get to see her very often"
perhaps, anyone else would let that roll of their back, but to me, it was extra crushing to have something so simple as a text message which could have been sent saying "thanks nana, I love you too"
Am I wrong? do grandkids not care about their grandparents anymore?
I always wanted to be my grandma's favorite but I wasnt..
it was a closing of an erra which has been so very painful,
of loosing most everything I have ever owned, in businesses which have failed.
The sadness of it started with being told I shouldnt comment on my daughters boyfriends page, that it was creepy and I was like a stalker and weird.
This, coming 5 months after my granddaughter who is 10 crushed my heart after I sent her a text saying "Happy Thanksgiving, I miss you and hope your having a good Thanksgiving" her mom and dad had recently divorced and this was her first holiday without her mom, she had plenty of holidays without me.
I had written to her just to let her know I missed her and was thinking of her.
She wrote back, "Nana please dont text me, im spending time with my Aunt Robin, I dont get to see her very often"
perhaps, anyone else would let that roll of their back, but to me, it was extra crushing to have something so simple as a text message which could have been sent saying "thanks nana, I love you too"
Am I wrong? do grandkids not care about their grandparents anymore?
I always wanted to be my grandma's favorite but I wasnt..
The happy part, is I went out with a new friend today. I had met her a few weeks ago where I work, and we went out tonight for the first time. She is beautiful, I mean drop dead beautiful. I have not been out publicly other than with friends who have known me for over 10 years.....or male friends I had met online, which, never ended up being 2nd dates because I was not interested or they didnt ask again.... this time it was a woman...and no im not lesbian.....altho at times I think.....men have pissed me off enough to become one...
its been 13 years as a single woman, going broke with a dream which flowed down the river of lost dreams. Everytime I drive down town it is a reminder of all of my businesses I have tried and failed, it had become my rut, my excuse not to enjoy downtown activities. She went with me tonight and it was good....to forget about the past pains and hurts and have a new experience with a new friend :)
We went to a nice little cozy kitchen with a quartet of women singing, didnt have a clue what type of music, it was.....way too old for me to enjoy and forsure not her type of music either. We ate and then the music was over and we left.
Sat in her car for about an hour talking, and her daughter called her and asked when she was going to go home to which she said soon, as soon as she hung up, I told her it was ok she could drop me off at home she took me home immediatly.
This is weird, its like it was a date with a man except with a woman, not romantically involved, but to just be a friend is a good thing, one that i have not had happen in a while....in a long while, now will she call me back or do i call her back???!!!!
it is a good day even tho.....and I pray you have enough.....
eventho my kids and grandkids dont seem to need me at this time, I will survive and find there is life after 58 :)
love ya
