Signs for coming here

I really have been trying to not have to file bank ruptsy, I hope, you realize how difficult it has been.
I wanted to become self sufficient so I wouldnt have to have a man in my life, or, have to depend on anyone else.
I wanted to be able to work for my self, and be self reliant.
I cried out to the Lord to give me wisdom, guidence, and, deliverance unto the path in which he has called me.
The path has been narrow, but wide, no railings and always the chance to fall off.
I have taken the path with no guidence, no early father to show me, and, no person to light my way.
I have cried out to GOD<>
I read the bible with no revealing stance
I beg for Gods love, understanding, and healing.
I plead for HIS mercy
I stand before your judgement!!!

In hometown, I felt as I had failed, I could not make a living, I could not hear GOD
I couldnt find life outside of work, and, my children didnt have a chance to learn to know me, nor I got to learn to know them, or, learn to communicate with them.
We have become alienated from each other, and, this trip, being gone from them, Im hoping to be allowed some time on phone, emails, and prayers, to become closer to them.

I asked God for a sign, that we could become better people by leaving, find a way to make a living, and in my heart, had hoped to fall in love with each other.
I love my partner, but, Im not in love with him, nor, is he with me.
I ache for love, I ache to be held, I ache to ache for a man.

Having James here this weekend, awakened those feelings, I so much want to feel love lust, passion again.


If I cant make some changes in my life, I don want to go back to hometown, I dont want to go back, feeling as tho I failed being in Florida.....I HAVE TO FIND A NEW ME<>>>>
I HAVE TO HAVE HELP~!~~~~~