knight on white horse

yeah right!

He came into my life about 6 years ago. He moved into my life almost 5 years ago.
He said he wanted to make me a millionaire.....
yeah right, all he has done is take me down to the gutter with him....

Tonight he overdosed with the pain pills the dr at the mental hospital gave him for his back.
Now, we have another bill, EMS< ER< ICU< and all the other bullshit that the hospital will bill him for.
not to mention the 2100.00 the mental hospital canned him for 2 1/2 days stay.

I dont know what is going on, other than the fact, he is 52, almost 53, cant get clean and sober, and, cant hold down a job. He finally landed a good job, it dont pay shit, 7.00 an hour, but, at least it was a job.
It wasnt stressfull, it was inside a/c, and, no heavy work....and, he has worked one week...and fucked up the rest of this week with admitting himself into mental hospital, now, the over dose.

I JUST WANT THE INSANITY TO LEAVE!!!!
I keep saying I wont say it cant get any worse, because IT DOES!!!!

What in the hell is going on!

I believed in him, I am the one who hasnt kicked him out, everyone else has given up on him, he has given up on himself.... I cant ....I dont know why.....but, I see the good in him....
even tho my two best friends have given up on me because I havent kicked him out....
now, i have NO ONE....
SUICIDE......seems to be his only option, or so he seems to think.....
He has been thru rehab, detox, scientology, church, he cant get free.....
what is this prison he is in, and why cant he break free of it....

Our BBQ was our baby, he and I both had all of our hopes and dreams set into it, it took us down the path to debt, and now, almost totally whipped....
I cant even get enough hours to support us, we have only been scaping by with pieces here and there....
now...this....
I dont know how much more I can take, and no one cares....
no one is here, again, I am so alone....

Where do I turn, what do I do...
I dont even think God remembers Im here....