something weird

I have been having the weirdest dreams lately, perhaps is only because im rested enough to actually wake up and remember them, or, before I was way too tired to dream??????
Last night was the most incredable one in which my inlaws came to me, which have been dead since 1978, my mother inlaw whom I loved very much, came to me, and hugged me, "I told her thru tears, Oh I have missed you so very much,"and she said," and I have missed you too"
I could see my father inlaw stading to the side, and, earlier I had my sister inlaw in a dream in which I asked her to sell my book, with her mothers german mennonite name, and I was going to set up down the street and try to sell the same book with my dads german name, it was a race to see who could sell the most books!
Then, I saw us all at Harper in the dining room this is where my mother inlaw came in and hugged me.
Since 1978, I have only seen her once in my dreams it was fleeting, this one was so real, I could feel her, I cried I was so happy to see them, I turned to hug Kathy, and, I woke up.
I was sad because I didnt get to see Lisa, why did I have this dream?
It just seems so bizzarre to me since I have not even thought of them for weeks.
My dreams are never very clear, and I very seldom remember them when I wake up, nor, do I recognize faces.

It just makes me wonder what it all means.
We both got jobs today, nothing at all what we had hoped for, I didnt waant to go back into food service, but, it was my first application I put out, and, got hired on the spot, she is going to work us into management asap. Guess she was desperate!
We are still going to hold out for the big job Rob is trying to get, but, wont know till after Christmas.
Nothing other than that, still trying to reinvent myself, but, damned hard to do on my own, especially when I have to fight depression.
I wish I could get on one of those shows like starting over, or, Dr Phil Or Oprah.
my life sux big time.
BUT, if you look at all I have done, most people envy me!
If they only knew how much of a slug I am, no life out side, and, no excitement, no love life, no social life, just moving alot.
How do people make thier life work, make money, have social lives, and happy homes?
Do I want too much?
such is life,
merry Christmas, in what ever way we can find it.
:)