where do we go from here?

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH THE REST OF OUR LIVES?????

I have been watching Starting Over only the past two days, sure wish I could go on that show, let them beat me into a new person!!!

What is it that is holding us back from doing what we want to do?

What is it that is holding us back from succeeding?

How do we get from there to here and from here to there?

You have had goals, I have had goals, both of us seem to have feelings of failure, in who's eyes?

in our own eyes?

in others eyes?

What do we need to do to get past the point of dissatisfaction in our everyday life?

I guess Im here in Florida to make me totally stripped of everything I have held as a "goal" in life, only knowing what I had in front of me as "successfull" people, wanting a life that I saw them living and wanting to have that lifestyle in front of me.

Now, I am here where people have little life left, short in years, and, what are they doing with their life?

sitting at home watching tv??? seems like it

shopping in low scale franchise stores like, Dollor General.....seems like it...

Working part time jobs to suppliment their small retirements which they either didnt prepare wisely for, or, life just dealt them a shorter version of success than what they had hoped for.

none the less....it SUCKS being here...and, I KNOW<>

Im angry, at the Mall, I feel they stripped me of my "nest egg"

Im angry at myself, for allowing them to do it to me, not standing up to them a year ago when I was asking out of my lease and they didnt respond.

Im angry at the Newton people for not supporting my business as much as I felt they would.

and Im angry at my employees for letting me down, feeling I was a good boss to them, but, they couldnt find it in themselves to do things to help boost our business, like asking friends to come eat there, doing things like being "extra" to the customers...

There is nothign this anger can do but distroy me from inside, so, my work is to let go of it...

but, what do I do with it?

My Christian up bringing says, {pray, give it to God)

THEN WHAT!!!!

move on....to WHERE?

I read stories of people who were on the last leg of finances, of, hope, of, deperation, and, boom, out of the blue something comes out of the sky and points them in the right direction....

am, I being so naive that would ever happen to me?

I dont want to be the woman who gives up all hope and just accepts life as it is meant to be....working in Dollar General as a sales clerk, but, looks like that is what it is going to end up being.

Im ready to head back to Kansas, if I accept employment in Florida, I have to get a florida drivers license, which means, I dont have all the paper work to get one. All my papers are back at Newton in safety box, or......who knows where!

BUT<>

On Starting Over today, the girl who is 27, and basically, in same shoes as me, except younger, was put into a cage, and left with "keys" she had to write on each key, why she ended up in cage, and, a way, action, to get out....she was there ALL DAY, finally ended up screaming and crying, and begging to get out, the leader told her she was a spoiled brat!!! (OUCH)

The finaly piece of the key was to go back and make ammends to all who she had hurt, and put into ridicule once she accepted that, the leader put her out on probation, with her terms being she had to list 9 people whom she had to make ammends to.....

Im sure I have probably hurt people, but, for the life of me, if I have not asked for forgiveness already, they are not in my mind of who they might be....so, not sure that was my missing key....but, HOW do I find out?