relationships

As she was growing up, my daughter held a grudge against me because of the divorce between her dad and myself. As she has become a mom, and, wife, she just needs someone to be pissed off at.
I guess I am the one.
I wanted to have a nice fun surprise birthday party for her and my granddaughter since their birthdays are 3 days apart. I asked a cousin of mine if we could come to her farm, and see all the animals, and, then, have her daughter and her grandkids all come so we could all get "re-aquatinted" but my daughter thought that was the most horrible idea anyone could have come up with, she refused to go spend her birthday with people she didnt know.....granted it has been several years since we had seen everyone, like maybe 25 years.....so, I guess it wasnt the best idea I had ever had, but, I thought it would be fun, and it wouldnt cost a lot to do.
Boy was I wrong, and after listening to her bitch about it, she says "im sorry I dont mean to be a bitch about it but...." and I said...."yes, you are being one" and that was all I needed to say for her to turn totally off, and, I have not heard from her for over two weeks now.
I have written to her, sent her cards, and, messages....but, not one word from her.
I dont know what more to do, she has to take some responsibility in the fight, and, as along as she can not let go fo her anger in my part of the divorce, 30 years ago....she will never be a happy person.
I cant make her happy, and no one else can....she has started taking anti depressents, I just hope they help.


I dont know what to do, and, for some reason cant feel the pain of her loss, I should feel something but I dont.
I want to call her, but, dont want to hear the anger in her voice, and dont want to face the rejection of yet another person in my life.

Why cant I just get along with people.....my partner says Im a control freak, but, I dont see it....
mainly cuz he says it when he is drunk...if he told me while he is sober, it would be easier to believe.

how do i make up with her, I have never had a fight like this before....