yup, it used to be different

when i first had my freedom, i had moved to the biggest town in Kansas, and I LOVED IT.
I could go out when ever I wanted, I could be with whom I wanted, and I could stay up as late as I wanted.
NO ONE CARED!

No one judged me and I didnt expect anyone to care, or notice me, I was invisible, and, it was ok.

but, now, Im back to my home town, and, see people I know, and most of the time they ignore me, or a general "hello" they say "hi, how ya doing?" but never care or want to spend the time to really listen.

When I left for the small town usa adventure, and opened my own business, I left that freedom of male friends, and dating, and doing as I pleased once again, but, became a slave to the business.
It was more than what I could handle physically. There was no one there that came to my rescue, except, friends who wanted to sit and talk, while i had to work, after work, I was so tired and they never invited me over anyway.
I was totally alone, me and my computer.
I had online friends, but, not many who chatted at the time of night when i had time. So I lost a lot of my online friends.
Now, I am home alot and have no one to talk to, my partner and I have built such huge walls around our hearts, we dont talk to each other much. I struck out tonight and told him that at least when I didnt have him around, I had my internet men, dates and a life!