one more starting-over point, but, where to this time?

I have started over so many times, and I cant seem to get the umph to do it again.
I have tried all my routes
I have tried all my money
I have tried all my friends
I have tried all my resorces
nothing is working
where do I turn now?
Im so confused
So scared
So frustrated
So invisible
No one can hear my cries
no one cares
the one person I though cared, has turned her back on me
I have reached out to her but she has continued to keep her back to me

I cant keep going the way things are
I am either going to die, or, go crazy
there is nothing here, no spirit,
no life, no communication, just me, and i SUCK!

and dont even have a cock to suck!