Imagine a world with out .....

Years ago there was a song which asked us to imagine a world with out heaven

sitting here at home, being eaten away with pain, anger, i had a choice
i could move forward or live in the past
but I have to forgive self
no one can survive unless the man at the top finds a way to forgive himself...

I just don't know what I'm asking forgiveness for

lossing ones self....not knowing who or where i have been other than lost...

needing reason to get married, life was empty
marriage was going to full fill that emptiness
but....it didn't....
I wasnt ready for marriage, I had not tasted the world, to know what I wanted.
BUT, I had dated a couple of guys, i fended them off all the while wanting to give in so badly...but
good girls dont give in....dont have sex out side of marriage....
do they?

my life has been so screwed up