Mystery and Passion of the Knights Templars : inTerjeCted
as I have said many times before Im an open book,
ill probably be hung out to dry with things I say here but no one reads it anyway so
......
I think the web is a good place for people to meet up online
find those who are of the same thought
sameness, a world in search of who
what and when
is the hobbit
the continuation of the story of.....
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
bEing a gRandparent
If ever there was a day I needed to have my grandkids here it was today.
Im thankful they were able to come stay.
Im afraid my g'daughter is too bored, but yet she seems to have a good time....
I try to engage her into conversation but she doesnt seem interested in anything I want to talk to her about and when I ask her questions she rarely has an answer, nor aability to talk to me about it. She is 9, and has been sheltered her entire life
I was the same way, and I rebeled and paid the price for it. I dont want to see her end up the same way, her mom didnt want to listen to me, why would a granddaughter want to either. Her mom did turn out good but she had to follow the route I took and have her consequences hit her in the face. I have had them hit me in the face many times. However, I do not know what I did to deserve most of the times I have been hit. I would gladly admit, and ask for forgiveness If someone would come forth and convict me of my sins, so I could move on. There are plenty of mistakes I have made which were of my own doing but there were so many others that I do not believe were mine. such as the death of 4 lovely people who were taken out of our lives when we probably needed them the most....wiped out in a second....
wiping out more than their lives but our whole family, by a semi, taking them out and damaging many others. If I could just understand why.....Its not for us to know at this time, but some how someday, I hope to understand why it all had to happen.
Most of the persons I have loved in my life have died, and it makes me sad, to know that the one who has had some of the most influence in my life died Thursday. I have to face the fact that I didnt go visit her in the nursing home because of my own pain of seeing her there, and loosing so many others before her I just couldnt deal with going and seeing her slipping away ......Pauline.....please forgive me.....
Im thankful they were able to come stay.
Im afraid my g'daughter is too bored, but yet she seems to have a good time....
I try to engage her into conversation but she doesnt seem interested in anything I want to talk to her about and when I ask her questions she rarely has an answer, nor aability to talk to me about it. She is 9, and has been sheltered her entire life
I was the same way, and I rebeled and paid the price for it. I dont want to see her end up the same way, her mom didnt want to listen to me, why would a granddaughter want to either. Her mom did turn out good but she had to follow the route I took and have her consequences hit her in the face. I have had them hit me in the face many times. However, I do not know what I did to deserve most of the times I have been hit. I would gladly admit, and ask for forgiveness If someone would come forth and convict me of my sins, so I could move on. There are plenty of mistakes I have made which were of my own doing but there were so many others that I do not believe were mine. such as the death of 4 lovely people who were taken out of our lives when we probably needed them the most....wiped out in a second....
wiping out more than their lives but our whole family, by a semi, taking them out and damaging many others. If I could just understand why.....Its not for us to know at this time, but some how someday, I hope to understand why it all had to happen.
Most of the persons I have loved in my life have died, and it makes me sad, to know that the one who has had some of the most influence in my life died Thursday. I have to face the fact that I didnt go visit her in the nursing home because of my own pain of seeing her there, and loosing so many others before her I just couldnt deal with going and seeing her slipping away ......Pauline.....please forgive me.....
Monday, January 11, 2010
Time moves faster
I cannot believe it has been so long since I posted on my blog, it used to be my daily diary of such. Maybe since there is no feedback, no body checking in with me, that I lost interest of writing but nonetheless im back. I had some trouble logging in guess it has been a long while since I have been here!
After 10 years of divorce, and now, Two NewYears days have gone by since my ex moved back in, needing a place to live since he basically screwed up his life so well, he has no place else to stay. He was here things went great till June the first year, then it all fell apart in one simple sentence. Have you ever said something that you wish you could take back......I did, and it was over, the bliss we had lived with for 5 months, it was over in one quick swift moment.
Two years have passed, he has come and gone many times in those two years, but, he keeps coming back, and I keep taking him back. What is it all about, I dont have a clue, but I do know we are getting along well, knowing we care for each other, and both need each other.
Situations have come up that neither of us could control, and life seemed to just bulldoze its way to bring us back together pushing and pulling until the wave of surrender came from with in. Ok now, Lord we are back together but for what purpose?
Our interests are so different, we seem to have nothing in common, and knowing each other as well as we do, there doesnt seem to be a lot to talk about. What is the purpose for relationships, other than to have a soft place to fall when we are in need?
Life goes on at a pace somedays I cant keep up with, other days, slower than mollasses and try swimming thru that for a change!
till the next post, who knows what will bring me back, but, i do wish there was another out there to connect with, isnt that what the soul searches for continually?
After 10 years of divorce, and now, Two NewYears days have gone by since my ex moved back in, needing a place to live since he basically screwed up his life so well, he has no place else to stay. He was here things went great till June the first year, then it all fell apart in one simple sentence. Have you ever said something that you wish you could take back......I did, and it was over, the bliss we had lived with for 5 months, it was over in one quick swift moment.
Two years have passed, he has come and gone many times in those two years, but, he keeps coming back, and I keep taking him back. What is it all about, I dont have a clue, but I do know we are getting along well, knowing we care for each other, and both need each other.
Situations have come up that neither of us could control, and life seemed to just bulldoze its way to bring us back together pushing and pulling until the wave of surrender came from with in. Ok now, Lord we are back together but for what purpose?
Our interests are so different, we seem to have nothing in common, and knowing each other as well as we do, there doesnt seem to be a lot to talk about. What is the purpose for relationships, other than to have a soft place to fall when we are in need?
Life goes on at a pace somedays I cant keep up with, other days, slower than mollasses and try swimming thru that for a change!
till the next post, who knows what will bring me back, but, i do wish there was another out there to connect with, isnt that what the soul searches for continually?
Labels:
divorce,
marrage,
meaning of life,
relationship,
soul searching
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Amazing feet

This video just totally amazes me at the cleverness of a silly ole bird
when we humans who have "brains" and "God"Given smarts
to stay in the disabling behavior of
war and killing
and not see past into the love of thy neighbor
this bird not only figured out he had a tool to get what he wanted
but knew to minpulate the tool so he could use the tool to get what he wanted...
i have watched this over and over and it just continualy amazes me
and he used his feet
walking
takes us everywhere
but at a much slower pace
Life is full of challenges right now
who....are we listening to
to find out way out of the darkness we have fallen into?
use your "feet"
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Passion and desire lost me
I have tried to write with passion and desire
But alas it is not there
It has been stollen away, killed and trashed
Come to me love and passion who has gone away
Fleeting and fluttering only reminders of
Something so beautful giving a reason of living
Remind me of what once flowed thru my veins
And made my heart beat
Give me the lust that brought excitement into
My every means of being
Take the webs of death away
Bring back the spring of lush and beautiful life
Take the sadness out of my heart
Sweep away the dust that has formed around the doors
And windows of my soul
Spring forth what has fallen back
Pick me up and shove me on
Remind me of what once was so easy
Bring me back to the days of my youth
Only to find that the doors have become
Much more heavy with regret and sorrow
Take away those desires to reminise in the past
Give me something to look into
Bring me into the future
Giving me smiles and laughter
Shoving everything out to make room for the new
But alas it is not there
It has been stollen away, killed and trashed
Come to me love and passion who has gone away
Fleeting and fluttering only reminders of
Something so beautful giving a reason of living
Remind me of what once flowed thru my veins
And made my heart beat
Give me the lust that brought excitement into
My every means of being
Take the webs of death away
Bring back the spring of lush and beautiful life
Take the sadness out of my heart
Sweep away the dust that has formed around the doors
And windows of my soul
Spring forth what has fallen back
Pick me up and shove me on
Remind me of what once was so easy
Bring me back to the days of my youth
Only to find that the doors have become
Much more heavy with regret and sorrow
Take away those desires to reminise in the past
Give me something to look into
Bring me into the future
Giving me smiles and laughter
Shoving everything out to make room for the new
Labels:
aging,
broken heart,
gift of love,
growing old,
lost love,
passion
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
This is written by my friend from Sweden....its very resonating to my soul!!!
I know I used that word earlier but, wow twice in one day:)
I have been blessed!!
http://WWW.feelingdictionary.Com/article.htm
" love your self as tho you were your child
give your self listening, mirroring tenderness love, and patience
the presence you would have if you were not so afraid."
Book Launch Of Water Lilies and Warm Hearts
http://WWW.youtube.Com/watch?v=zDIVWemb93o
Of Water Lilies and Warm Hearts
http://WWW.youtube.Com/watch?v=zDIVWemb93o
Book Launch for Nan
I cried while watching this for the first several times, it resonated thru my soul....
Thank you Nan...
I cant get into my account to copy my script off of it so, this is going to have to do till I can re post...
Thanks for being my friends Carl & Nan...
hugs to you both :)
I know I used that word earlier but, wow twice in one day:)
I have been blessed!!
http://WWW.feelingdictionary.Com/article.htm
" love your self as tho you were your child
give your self listening, mirroring tenderness love, and patience
the presence you would have if you were not so afraid."
Book Launch Of Water Lilies and Warm Hearts
http://WWW.youtube.Com/watch?v=zDIVWemb93o
Of Water Lilies and Warm Hearts
http://WWW.youtube.Com/watch?v=zDIVWemb93o
Book Launch for Nan
I cried while watching this for the first several times, it resonated thru my soul....
Thank you Nan...
I cant get into my account to copy my script off of it so, this is going to have to do till I can re post...
Thanks for being my friends Carl & Nan...
hugs to you both :)
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Rosalea in Harper KS
HAPPY 2008 HOLIDAY NEWS FROM HARPER & THE BALMER FUND! *
Because I am out in the Kansas boondocks with only minimal help, you may
be inadvertently receiving this email. If so, we apologize. Simply write
QUIT in the subject box and return it to us and your name will be removed.
For the rest of you who wait with baited breath about every new soap
opera escapade from the City of Harper, Kansas: Suicide Town, we want to
report that the Harper City Council successfully demolished our
beautiful historic Buckeye this fall, despite our Injunction that was
overthrown by a telephone “court” held by the Judge, the City Attorney
and our own Attorney. Stay tuned in 2009 for what may be the thrill of
your life as we gather our wits and raise funds for a high powered
attorney, and sue the hell out of the City of Harper. It is long over
do. And with luck, some of it may spill over to the same type
shenanigans from Anthony City Commission who also illegally destroyed
our historic King Parrot Warehouse last year.
We have been told that there are investigations going on by “powers
above.” If that is the case, you won’t want to miss a thing. Our own
Reality Show right here in Harper County Kansas America! Does anyone
else smell a forty year criminal conspiracy to destroy Rosalea?
We have been posting more YouTubes. Remember, we are a motley
crew….Loren is 85 and forgets to turn the sound on sometimes and can’t
cut out the wind noise, Ralph is 69 and can’t remember his last name,
and I am Rosalea who Ain’t Dead Yet! Please pass on this email to five
of your friends. We want the world to know about Suicide Town so
everyone can get the thrill of watching a small Kansas town
self-destruct right before their very eyes. It’s not what we want but it
is obviously what the people choose by who they elect to power. Soon
Harper will be no more unless you take action now! Move over, Greensburg!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWc0OqtiB0E Harper, Kansas Suicide Town #1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8mgNcLzPhk Harper, Kansas Suicide Town
#2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11UtIl1UfEU Harper, Kansas Suicide
Town #3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG01sVj_vUY Bugabully Day
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP_PzpYqOpk Harper Suicide Town #4*
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2U79iw8fyw Harper Suicide Town #5*
Don’t miss a thing. Subscribe today to our monthly Prairie Connection
for only $24 (your own or gift)….…..and add any new subscribers for only
half price….$12 each. Oklahoma and Kansas Libraries and senior centers
would enjoy copies. It is a 24 page tab, grassroots, all volunteer,
provocative and entertaining, ten issues a year.
It’s going to be a rough go for The Balmer Fund, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit,
in the tough economic time ahead. We are Survivors but with your minimal
help, we can make it! Your tax deductible gift can be directed in any
way you chose…for The Balmer Fund General Fund, Prairie Arts Theatre
roof (goal: $30,000) or for the Balmer Fund Legal Defense Fund (goal:
$20,000). Just send us an email to let us know your choice, and then use
our PayPal account found at: www.prairieconnect.com
Or mail your subscriptions and/or
contributions to: The Balmer Fund/Prairie Connection, 121 West Main,
Harper, KS 67058 Your support is greatly appreciated. With your help, we
will survive and clean up this decades of hate and vindictiveness.
Come enjoy the Holidays in one of our local vacant lots! I will be happy
to give you a personal guided tour and I will throw in 40 years of
chronic vandalism as a bonus!
Rosalea Hostetler, President & Survivor
The Balmer Fund
“Preserving the history, art & culture of the prairies for future
generations”
Because I am out in the Kansas boondocks with only minimal help, you may
be inadvertently receiving this email. If so, we apologize. Simply write
QUIT in the subject box and return it to us and your name will be removed.
For the rest of you who wait with baited breath about every new soap
opera escapade from the City of Harper, Kansas: Suicide Town, we want to
report that the Harper City Council successfully demolished our
beautiful historic Buckeye this fall, despite our Injunction that was
overthrown by a telephone “court” held by the Judge, the City Attorney
and our own Attorney. Stay tuned in 2009 for what may be the thrill of
your life as we gather our wits and raise funds for a high powered
attorney, and sue the hell out of the City of Harper. It is long over
do. And with luck, some of it may spill over to the same type
shenanigans from Anthony City Commission who also illegally destroyed
our historic King Parrot Warehouse last year.
We have been told that there are investigations going on by “powers
above.” If that is the case, you won’t want to miss a thing. Our own
Reality Show right here in Harper County Kansas America! Does anyone
else smell a forty year criminal conspiracy to destroy Rosalea?
We have been posting more YouTubes. Remember, we are a motley
crew….Loren is 85 and forgets to turn the sound on sometimes and can’t
cut out the wind noise, Ralph is 69 and can’t remember his last name,
and I am Rosalea who Ain’t Dead Yet! Please pass on this email to five
of your friends. We want the world to know about Suicide Town so
everyone can get the thrill of watching a small Kansas town
self-destruct right before their very eyes. It’s not what we want but it
is obviously what the people choose by who they elect to power. Soon
Harper will be no more unless you take action now! Move over, Greensburg!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWc0OqtiB0E Harper, Kansas Suicide Town #1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8mgNcLzPhk Harper, Kansas Suicide Town
#2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11UtIl1UfEU Harper, Kansas Suicide
Town #3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG01sVj_vUY Bugabully Day
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP_PzpYqOpk Harper Suicide Town #4*
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2U79iw8fyw Harper Suicide Town #5*
Don’t miss a thing. Subscribe today to our monthly Prairie Connection
for only $24 (your own or gift)….…..and add any new subscribers for only
half price….$12 each. Oklahoma and Kansas Libraries and senior centers
would enjoy copies. It is a 24 page tab, grassroots, all volunteer,
provocative and entertaining, ten issues a year.
It’s going to be a rough go for The Balmer Fund, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit,
in the tough economic time ahead. We are Survivors but with your minimal
help, we can make it! Your tax deductible gift can be directed in any
way you chose…for The Balmer Fund General Fund, Prairie Arts Theatre
roof (goal: $30,000) or for the Balmer Fund Legal Defense Fund (goal:
$20,000). Just send us an email to let us know your choice, and then use
our PayPal account found at: www.prairieconnect.com
contributions to: The Balmer Fund/Prairie Connection, 121 West Main,
Harper, KS 67058 Your support is greatly appreciated. With your help, we
will survive and clean up this decades of hate and vindictiveness.
Come enjoy the Holidays in one of our local vacant lots! I will be happy
to give you a personal guided tour and I will throw in 40 years of
chronic vandalism as a bonus!
Rosalea Hostetler, President & Survivor
The Balmer Fund
“Preserving the history, art & culture of the prairies for future
generations”
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