If I were to die tomorrow

No one would even notice.
That picture that goes around online about the guy who died at work, and was dead for 5 days before someone noticed, is rather scarey, but oh so true.
Would anyone really notice if I died tomorrow?

My partner would when he got home to see I hadnt moved out of bed ....but, when we go to eat he doesnt even talk to me, or look at me....why are we together?

my boss would, when I didnt show up for work, and, maybe took a day to decide to call and see where I was...he doesnt even come talk to me, just passes the office and says hi..."any messages?"
and walks on....

my kids ....might take a month, or more before they noticed....my son doesnt call back when i call him....my daughter, well....She makes an attempt to show she cares....but, if I were gone, I would be one less person she had to deal with in her own complicated life....
my granddaughter told me the other day I wasnt a part of her family....because my name wasnt the same as hers, or her grandpa's.....she has cut my heart out so many times....She has never been a loving grandchild, and has said hurtful things ever since she was capable of talking....she has pushed me away, doesnt want to sit on my lap, or give me hugs, and kisses with out her mommy telling her to....

My email friends...very few of them ever reply, even to my personal notes, whom I pass on intimate "funnies" several times a day, but, only a very very few ever even send back anything...most of what they send to me is a repeat of something i sent out months ago...like they dont even look at what i send, and i send the only the best of the best!

My church people really dont even know i am there on worship day, the only one who says hi is the one who leads my Bible study, and that is when I walk in the door cuz she is the greeter!

My cousins forsure wont miss me, I havent heard from any of them since my mom and dad died!

My cousin whose mom lives in town, only time I have heard from her was when she needed someone to check on her mom, once the crisis was over, she never calls, or writes....

Maybe I am just too sentimental, allways have been, allways will be, even when I was little, I tried to get the people in my moms family to have little plays, showing each other how much we loved each other, but, they all thought it was stupid...

My home town where I lived till 12, no one there remembers me, so why go back...

I just dont exsist....

My bleeding has started back up, my herbalist hasnt been able to get it to stop, I refuse to go to the dr. She said, If I go, they will tell me I have cancer, which is a lable they always put on something they dont know what it is....
I have had trouble with vaginal bleeding for over 5 years, at first it was just really heavy periods, then, once i got so involved with my restaurant, and all the stress, it didnt quit...I went for over 6 months, heavy before I finally went to a Dr. I was too far from her to be able to get down to see her, so, went to the local hospital. They gave me the abortion pill, which expelled my utturus lining, and the tumor....the heavy bleeding quit, but, I was still having periods so when I had them, they were heavy!
Once I moved back to hometown, it started up again, no insurance, so continued with herbalist.
She gets it to quit for a few months, then it comes back...
If I died tomorrow, no one would notice, so, why keep trying....
Maybe being Easter, and thinking about Jesus, and the torture he lived in his last days.
He tried to tell his friends he would be gone but they didnt understand, didnt pay attention to what he was telling them....
How he lived thru the pain and suffering is beyond me other than GOD willing his life, but, even at the end, he said..."Why have you forsaken me"

I think there is so much more to the Jesus story than what we really know and have been told...but....its herasy to dig deeper and find those truths...but, yet Jesus said "the truth shall set you free"

If I were to die tomorrow...would anyone even miss me......?