Final time to kick out

Once again, he got a great job, he came home telling me he loved his job,
it was a total God given job, i could see Gods work in the whole thing,
and, after getting his training done, his shots, and his keys. Plus praise from his bosses. He took off on a binge, and screwed up big time.
DUI bad checks, the whole lot.
Humiliation was my feeling, knowing he had screwed up and basically slapped God, his boss, me, in the face once again.
I just felt dead inside, no anger, no pain, no emotions.
My friends thougth i was at peace.....
was it peace, or just plain being worn out, tired of trying...

He came home, I told him he was leaving, and if he didn't want to live on the streets again, he was going to the state hospital.
Which, is where he is now, but, I will not allow him to come back here
until he has proven himself.
I just cannot take it any longer,
I know, I should have sent him packing along time ago, but,
God ALWAYS closed doors, and, gave me mercy for hm, and each time he has gotten worse, each time racking up bigger bills, etc...

Now....most of my friends don't believe that, they think I was just totally being an enabler. Most probably so, but, in my heart of hearts, God would not allow me to give up on him. I still have not given up on him, I KNOW MY GOD IS BIG ENOUGH TO HEAL HIM...
Why is it, that no one else seems to stand with me?
Here I am in the middle of Bible Belt USA and no one can see how God is working and getting my faith built, and allowing him to become broken.

Unless a spirit has been broken, it is unyielding to the Holy Spirt.

Jesus, my Lord, Please make me a part of the solution
not a part of the problem.

I REFUSE TO GIVE UP....

Lord you made me stubborn, you made me put my feet to the ground and stand my ground. It was the only way I ever got anything I really wanted.
of course, now, people see me as spoiled, and most of my adopted relatives don't give a cow about me.
I am alone here, one or two who really know my heart.

I just want to make a difference in someones life....
but most people don't even know I'm alive...

When I was adopted in 1952, they thought i died...
so, its fitting that i have lived my life as an alien amongst strangers
I have made a quiet landing...just hoping to figure out how to live the rest of my life with out falling off the cliff, hanging on to one knot at a time......