Shes coming back

Depression....the one that seems to know me best. It would be fitting to name her I guess? Depre' she is now named, and from now on will be known as Depre'. I have fought with her as long as I can remember, and to go back and figure out when she first started visiting me the best i can do is.....ALL OF MY LIFE. If I were to go thru therapy regression as they call it, I think, the day my bio mother held me, said good bye to me, kissed me and said "I will always love you but I cannot take you home with me" Depre' latched on to me and has never let go. My earliest memories of being depressed were the rejection of so called friends in our little home town of Potwin KS. Unknown to me at the time, everyone else was related to each other, and I was the outsider.
Not knowing that, made it hard to understand why the kids had birthday parties and didnt invite me. Why they all went to the same church, and all had so much fun together. Why the kids at the end of the block all played together and very seldomly invited me to come join them. Other than the fact that, when I would go into the house to my bedroom and stay there all day....not wanting to tell my adoptive mom why I was in my bedroom. She always wanted to go fix everything. I became embarressed when she would go out and yell at the kids
so, it was just easier to go to my room, and stay there. I remember crying alot....wishing I werent alone. KNowing I had brothers and sisters out there somewhere didnt help me much, it just made me want to know where they were.
Being alone, one would think I would have developed my imagination.
I remember laying in bed, looking at the light fixture, it had a design something like a lymbryth. I remember following the lines, hopeing it would take me to the place.....
Its time to go to work....the place....for now....