mothers of mankind

taking on more responsibility so he doesn't have to
the women need the time alone to get it sorted thru
men don't want to think aobut the everafter
the before and behind of things
we must stand united
where R U mothers of mankind....

the men took the lead in the walk out of the desert
now it is time for the woman to walk back into the garden

nothing like a strole thru the park with the one you love
tell me have you felt the love of the soul
seen thru the portal of the heart
into the eyes

falling into love with the one
who would touch the golden spot of
desire
doors are closed unable to visit that spot
to make love thru the night

I have runaway, oh my love to runaway with you
to fall into the deep abyss of blyss
to fall inlove and know the soul has been touched
to know that the spirit has been brought alive
and given the lust for life
to be rebirthed into the air of golden sunlight
clouds of white feathers lightening the way into the path of
enlightenment
how to live the life which is poured out before us but yet
hidden to those who are dead and blind
oh to taste and know it is good
oh to love and know it is real
oh to desire and know the way

As I was given the day
the darkness brought out the light
a spark like a diamond in the dark
that led me to the holy night

to go back, to know the way forward
the circle of life beyond the belief of
existence
we know not what we are speaking
when we have lost our way
the spirit is lost, and no way back
no guide to find the way
only little hints along the way
has my mind been able to make contact with
but yet the days are empty with out one bit of sight
oh my God in front of me give me a climbse
they speak not of you in the chambers of their religions
I ask for the one word I can recognize but no voice is heard


I know in my heart you are there
I know I must find you
but where....

Imagine a world with out .....

Years ago there was a song which asked us to imagine a world with out heaven

sitting here at home, being eaten away with pain, anger, i had a choice
i could move forward or live in the past
but I have to forgive self
no one can survive unless the man at the top finds a way to forgive himself...

I just don't know what I'm asking forgiveness for

lossing ones self....not knowing who or where i have been other than lost...

needing reason to get married, life was empty
marriage was going to full fill that emptiness
but....it didn't....
I wasnt ready for marriage, I had not tasted the world, to know what I wanted.
BUT, I had dated a couple of guys, i fended them off all the while wanting to give in so badly...but
good girls dont give in....dont have sex out side of marriage....
do they?

my life has been so screwed up

Vicki and new machine

This is my sister in Christ, Vicki, she is a refugee from Liberia, in Ghana. She and her three boys have been through a lot and, hopefully, now, with her new machine, God provided for her, she will be able to make a decent living for her children and her self.
I pray this will help you ....

in Jesus Name...

My dear Sister in Christ Vicki

Back in January, I was blessed with meeting up a dear girl in a refugee camp, trying desperatly to get on her feet, after such horrible things in Liberia, she made it to Ghana with her twins, and, another boy she adopted along the way, whose parents had died.

I wanted desperatly to help her, but had no money, I prayed about her, and with in weeks, the idea of helping her get a sewing machine which doesnt require electricity came to my heart.
I received 50.00 for christmas, and, then with saving from waisting money on things I didnt need, I was able to purchase her sewing machine.
Here she is with her three boys, and the new machine.
I am so excited for her, now, she must learn to sew :)

March 9, her small son Emmanuel, is now sick with typhoid.
Please pray for him! and her....

new upgraded blog?

we will see!
I shutter everytime they say, new and improved....it normlly means, its over my head...and
i wont be able to figure it out.
Im still having problems ith my keyboard, not keeping up with my speed of typing, so,lots of back spaces and editing GRRRRR
so..ok what is new, and better?

Make me an instrument of YOUR PEACE

for so manyyears my life hs been such a screwed up mess.
I have finally had my Faith Lifted ....... I haven posted for a long while...but no one seems to read ths anyway so, ill just keep writing to no one....

It has been a long month, but a productive one....

Before Christmas I had met a girl online from Ghana, a refugee from Liberia, who, (seemed strange for her to be online) but, she claimed she cleaned and did washing for some people in her village who owned a cyber cafe in the refugee camp (unlike our cyber cafe's) but set up for people to keep in touch with the world.
As the days went by her story just tore my heart out, 3 small boys, twins of her own, and one she had adopted whose parents had died, her husband had died of malaria.
I checked out the refugee camp sights online, and, started praying and asking Jesus if she was real, and not a scam artist, to show me how to help her.
After all, who can turn down a mothers cries that she has no food to feed her children?
no water unless they buy it by the gallon, and no way to make a livnig other than washing clothes for a little bit of food for her chilldren.

Christmas was coming, Partner went on a binge, I was with out any money, but, I prayed if she was real, for Jesus to sustain her, and give her peace in her life, and to show me how to help her, and bring the money to me to help her.
With in a couple of weeks, the idea was brought to me to buy her a sewing machine that runs with out electricity, and asked her how much it would cost for her to buy one over there.
She said, something like 4524395768304.00 Cedi....well....i laughed and thought holy cow, no way i can come up that much money....but, prayed about it anyway....

Some one left an envelope in my mail box at the church in it was 50.00 anonymously ....before christmas...
then, the church takes up a staff gift and splits it between the 9 staff members, my share was 28.00, so, i just kept praying.
and everytime i cash my pay check i always take out 10.00 for little things i mght need during the pay period, and as I break it, i drop the change in my purse...etc...
I went to Wally world to ask how much it was going to cost to send 100.00 to Ghana it was 9. 46, so, i went home, took out the 78.00 that i knew I had, and, prayed the rest would show up.
I emptied out my purse, finding a bank envelope with 10.00 , a few 1.00, then a 20.00!!!
all done I counted what I had and I had 111.00!!!!!!
I hurried back to Wally world and got the paper work to send the money over to her, and, yesterday I got word back from her
she was able to get 1 sewing machine, some material, scissors, thread and needles!!!!! and TWO WEEKS Worth of food for her boys!!!! PRAISE JESUS!!!!!

I was on cloud 9 all day, its such a rush to see a miracle work!!!!
I wanted to tell everyone....
The least excited when I told him was my minister-boss! IT made me sad, but didnt steal my excitement and praise for Jesus....

I have had so many losses 4 inaws in wreck, husband from early teen age marraige. beloved myhusband whom I loved with all my heart both parents, a grandchild, two siblings, two foster children, three businesses, my credit, and, the love of my life, and relationships, as Partner was driving me nuts, job-people are selfish, and uncaring, or, more like two faced....
and, i was doubting if Jesus was even there....
Oh my cries at night, my fears, my angers, my worries, my lack of joy, and depression, my whole world had been shattered, and dumped to the ground, nothing made sense, nothing worked, nothing was there to hold on to, except, hoping the stories of Jesus were true. I had only had them as a child,

and so many unanswered prayers the past 30 years, especially the last 10 years and even worse the last 6 years.....


I was really starting to doubt that I knew God, as I should..... was he even hearing my prayers? I didnt want to ask God why, but, What was I not learning, not paying attention to, what could I do to make things different in my life, I loved Jesus, I wanted to be more like Him, I begged him for his mercies, and asked him to show me how to love those who were hurting me, and asked him help me love my husband thru his eyes,which he dd many times, but, for what ever reason,
we just couldnt make it work...I ended up loosin mybusiness, taking in adrunk (didnt know hw ewas a drunk) I didnt understand the disease.....the drunk came in to help me with my business. We did great until 911, thngs started going down aat a fast speed.
I couldnt keep up with anything durng that time, loose after loss i was barely hanginng on for dear life..

I asked for forgiveness of al my sins, and, asked for a new start...
what a Ride!
Things are finall starting to turn around, and maybe time, I can make sense of why things have happened, and ho NOT to make the same mistakes, over and over again...


anyway, He gave me the money to get her a way of life.
It doesnt even matter to me if she wasnt real, but, I have to believe she was.
So many "men" have taken advantage of me, and I have lost so much. If I cant help another woman get on her feet, even If I havent been able to do it on my own, then, I am so glad I have been patient, but going crazy....

Interesting clock

It has been almost a month since I posted, so many amazing things have happened, but, one is
a new Friend, Richard "Lee" Thank you for coming into my life!

he has some awesome pictures, check em out here... photobird.com/zoomsnap4him

Also, a new Sister in Christ, Vicki I will write about Vicki's world, soon, but for now..here is
a website of just a small part of her world....it doesn talk about the hunger, the lack of clean water, or, lack of sanitation, and bathrooms!
Vicki, God Bless you and your children!

http://www.volunteer.org.nz/ghana/refugeecamp/

http://www.globalvoicesonline.org/2005/07/22/ghana-life-in-a-liberian-refugee-camp-2/