Dreams

I never remember my dreams, and when I finally have one that I wake up to, it lingers in my mind for days, trying to figure out what it means.
Last night, I was hanging around with a group of people who were teaching me how to fly, I mean, we would get in a circle, jump up into the sky and take off, we could stay up in the air for hours it was incredible. I remember the freedom of drifting around, looking below to see all the worries of the day below. No one knew about our group of people, we got together several times a week, and just had a great time. (did i dream that?) mmmmm its building as I think of it haha...
For some reason we were at a big store, like a Penny's or Montgomery Wards or something like that, not a WalMart, but a old fashioned department store. There was a big car parking lot type of area, my leader who ever she was, told me to come on out to the parking lot, she wanted us to fly in front of the people, I remember being totally exhausted from the week of flying before, and, I couldnt get up, I was too tired.

Im sure it has everything to do with my exhaustion in life im feeling right now, my dispair of not getting my life together once again.
I had it all planned, I would get this house ready for sell, move to missouri and start over....right?
not....its totally in disarea again.
Rob is talking abut going to Florida to work on construction, it would be greta, if he could do it, with his drinking as bad as it is, I trully cant see him down there alone, and making it.
ITs a dream to get rid of him!!! and, know he could walk on his own two feet.
It is amazing to me how half of his brothers are such assholes, and the younger ones are great providers and wonderful husbands, fathers. The abuse the older ones lived thru has such a hold on them they dont function and are dependent in their lives, dependent on alcohol, drugs, women. They cant live with out a woman, but they make life so misserable for that woman they cant stay with one longer than 4 or 5 years, or, that is the story im living right now.
He is a wonderful guy when he is sober, but, he doesnt stay sober very long, 3-4 months at a time, if that long....
Since we have been together he has been in two treatment centers, a dry out center, and each time he stayed sober only short times.
I know he wants to not be the asshole he is when he is drunk, but he doesnt want to do the work of being sober to not be the asshole. Cutting down on his beer is his only choice he takes, which, he can maintain for a few days at a time, then its like he gets tired of being "nice" and has to take his medicine to be the nasty guy and get really bad, the next morning regrets hit him, he cleans up for a couple of days, then, back to the races....im just really tired of the roller coaster ride.
Perhaps my flying dream was a freedom, but, we always have to come down...