blew me away

Last night the door bell rang. WE NEVER have company, so, it almost scared me to answer the door. I turned on the light, looked out the window and there was a smiling face I NEVER expected to see at my door. It was my ex-husband the one who was in prison, whom, I thought was put away for 12-15 years! It had been 4 years and some months since he first went in.
I was so blown away that he was at my door!!! I invited him in, he came in, we hugged, and, it felt so good! (tears in my eyes as I think about it)
He was the love of my life, I had loved him with all my heart and soul when we got married.
I fought tooth and nail for my marrage, but, I could never be thin enough, and never be what his love was....a mind altering experience. He was alcoholic. When I met him, I like millions of other women, thought if I could just love him enough, help him find his "triggers" he would not drink.
WRONG! Knowing he had a mother who displaced her anger for his dad towards him. I just felt as if he could be healed of that pain of not having a supportive mother, he would be able to over come the alcoholism. Being married to him I experienced her harsh tounge, I understood his pain stemming from her bitterness, and, I knew, he was a good person!
I had choose him over my first husband, after 13 1/2 years of marriage to my first marrage partner. Which fell apart after his parents fatefull accident bringing death to the 4 members of his family. I came out of that marrage needing to be needed. Needing to be loved, and cared for.
I left after 13 1/2 years yet again, it must be my breaking point, but, I remember the night I fnally had enough. We had moved to the country, invested every penny we had in a big bird buisness, of EMU's, one that was sweaping the area of "self employed wanna be's" here in our area. Little did I know, his new friend from the next town over, was doing meth, and, that was the beginning of the end.
He started going over to see his friend, and, not coming home until way late, 3 or 4 am, or, staying out in the barn until way late. As I tried to get his attention, talking to him, throwing my body at him. I had walked up behind him, put my breasts upon his back, and asked him to come to bed with me. He totally ignored me. I just walked away, packing my bags the next day. I had 13 years of rejection to his love of beer, now, I didnt know what was going on with him but nothing was making sense! It was as if he had another woman, and I didnt know how to fight anylonger for his love.
It has been almost 10 years since my divorce from him...5 years since seeing him last, and now, here he was at my door. Looking better than he had looked in past years, and....happy to see him, and he was happy to see me!

Now....my partner whom I have lived with for 5 years....is...jealous.....