those who join me in my head--hello---is anyone there?

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Immigrant grandparents

 


After meeting my new friend Christina (Kweet) who is in the Philipines, and her mom living here in the States, I have a new appreciation of immigrants and what they go thru emotionally. It made me start thinking about my dads family once again. I have tried to write about them in other postings, but, will try a bit better this time. Try not to be so fractured in my writings....I promise to stay more FOCUSED! HAHA....

The picture is of William and Doretta Budde, taken sometime after 1909. They came to America from Germany, sometime in the late 1800's. Early in their lives, grandpa being something like 17, and the story has it, grandma came when she was 15. Both, leaving their parents and families. Not having computers, or even phones to keep in touch. Going to a new unknown land, how exciting, and frightening it must have been!
I have a few old letters which were salvaged from my Aunts home when she passed away, written in old style German language, very difficult for anyone to read. It is our only written link to the past....
It is not known if they knew each other before coming to the states but, they got married in Norborn Missouri. Grandpa had a brother in Illinois, I have pictures taken back in the 40's of him and his family but dont know anything about them.
Grandma and grandpa Budde came to Kansas with a horse and wagon, lived on a farm close to Winfield Kansas area for a few years before moving to the plot of ground they homesteaded 3 miles east of Newton Kansas. They raised their family of 12 living children, one baby died in Norborn, making a total of 13 children.
For what ever reason, no one really knows much about their life before coming to America as it was never passed down to the children. My dad, being the youngest of all the children, was 83 when he died in 2002. He hardly ever spoke of his mom or dad, and never shared much about his life as a child. My cousin's have had much of the same from their parents, not having much shared with them either, our heritage, a past, forgotten.
My grandfather William was born in 1864, they celebrated a 50th wedding anniversary, grandmother died I think in 1948 or 49, granddad died in 1953, a year after I was born. I found many pictures in my parents home which had been kept for safe keeping in a suitcase, as in many homes Im sure. They were un-named and nothing is known about the people in the pictures. Oh how I wish, I would have taken the time to go thru pictures when my mom was still living.
This picture,was taken on the farm on which they homesteaded. It was taken sometime after 1909 after the barn was built, which is still standing today in 2005. It has been taken care of re-painted and a wonderful new door on the hay loft with the family names and years written on it. I need to go take a picture of the barn, but, it sits on the land where my only living uncle still lives ....behind the "guards" of alot of the emotional pain in my life. Meaning, his daughter and I dont seem to be able to relate and commune, carrying down the pain from the first generation, now to our generation. I know I am bigger than all of this, but, for what ever reason, this past year has been hell, and, it has just been too difficult for me to go face the monsters in my closets....
It seems there has been a lot of pain, emotional shut downs, and denial in a family who could have been so rich in history but unfortunatly nothing is there now. It makes me so sad when I think that the past is all but buried. The only uncle who is still living, the middle child of the 13, is old, feeble, and, one of the main causes of pain in my dads life. It has been very difficult for me to go to my cousin and try to heal the past.
I will write more later, for now...just enjoy....your day, your family, and dont let your family history be buried with the last generation... Posted by Picasa

No comments: