those who join me in my head--hello---is anyone there?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Turkey stress

Im starting to stress over the next weekend. Its been so many years since I have really entertained for the holidays. This will be the first year since my daddy died, that I am not working 15+ hours a day. I have so many things I want to do and have stretched myself pretty thin right now. To add to the stress, my ex will be here along with my kids, his step kids. Plus housemate. Ex will be here since he has not seen them for 10+ years and never seen my (our) granddaughter.
I am putting together my three lives, if I invited my kids dad, wow, we would have my WHOLE life here. Except for those I have loved and are dead or gone.
It feels strange to know my life has drindled down to so few people.
If it werent for my online friends, I wouldnt have many people in my life, and, that SUX!
I am thankful for getting the painting done, I still have cleaning to do, and get the china out. Then, I have food to buy, I surely hope I have the money to pay for it. I dont want to use the credit card, but, such is life.
I wonder how many other people in the Good Ole United States wonder if they will be able to afford to feed the people coming to their homes?
I hate being in this situation Its almost like it was when I was first married, but somehow I always new the bills would be paid....now...i wonder all the time, pray all the time, and just always hope God will come thru....

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